I know I am not supposed to use Mum's laptop without asking, but I am not a happy dog. It has not been a good week. I am sad. I don't think my family love me anymore, they keep leaving me.
All of last week, Mummy went out. She never goes out. Why did she leave me? She said to me that she had to go and will be back soon, but I don't know how long soon is. I think it might be two episodes of Hawaii 5 O, because that is what she leaves on for me. Mummy thinks I like to have the TV on to keep me company, but I just want to sleep.
But it gets worse! They go out and leave me, I am not used to being left. I do not like it! When they are home, they have nice food and won't give me any. That is unkind. They say I can't eat pain au chocolats, or cake.
They are not nice, they are bad people! I am very frightened. I think they will eat me soon, they have already eaten one doggy this week!
I thought they were nice, but I am scared. They set fire to the poor dog, and then they sang, and then they cut him up and ate him! I think this must have been a very naughty doggy. I am going to carry on being a good boy. I don't want to be set alight, and cut up, and eaten. I was a very happy boy when they went out next night for dinner. At least I was safe.
I am a worried doggy. They also tried to drown me. They sent me to the garden after my breakfast and then turned the big sky tap on and tried to drown me. It was not nice. I got very wet. I am sure my family did it on purpose. Mummy say to me that it is just rain, but I know it was them, they want to eat me!
Sparkle (the cat who refuses to play with me) says I am being a silly dog and Mummy and the girls love me very much, but why did they eat the dog and why do they keep going out? I will keep an eye on them this week. If they stop eating dogs I will relax. Woof!
Hey Max, its Martyn again.
ReplyDeleteHow horrible for you! All that love that you've got to give, the cuddles and keeping their feet warm and they leave you alone! So unfair.
Now, im probably not allowed to tell you this but Samson insisted that i passed it on to you.....he says bark a lot! Bark all the time theyre not there. This tells the neighbours that you are home alone and they then tell mummy and the girls. Apparently it applies peer pressure.
I am sure that the dog they cut up, set fire to and ate must have been terrifying but i have some brilliant news for you!!
This is called cake. You can eat cake. It is deemed a human treat. Now we're not meant to give it to our furry family BUT shops sell cakes for dogs! Or Mummy can make you one! My aunt used to make all her dogs cakes and quite regularly too! If i were you i would tell mummy straightaway to get you one. If it helps i will tell her off too because the fact she bought one and didnt have the courtesy to buy one that you could have and communally join in the fun is outrageous.
In the meantime carry on borrowing mummies laptop; you make much more sense ;)
Thank you Martyn. You are a nice people. Can I live with you? I will tell Mummy about the cake, I will be good so she will buy me one. I will share it with you, you are my friend. Woof!
DeleteAwww such a cute post - and that little face?! Adorable! #MMBC
ReplyDeleteThank you Tara. He is such a naughty dog hacking into my blog, but he is very amusing! x
DeleteOh Poor little doggy! Life is hard as a dog, I'm sure my dog thinks so too. However, being a labrador, she wouldn't have enough time to notice that the cake was dog shaped as she would have eaten it before looking. Thanks for joining the #weekendblogshare. Please do take a moment to check the rules and link up your home page and not an individual post. Thanks
ReplyDeleteOops sorry Hannah. Not sure why or how I mangaged to do that. Will make sure I sort myself out for next week x
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