I'm not sure if I should be writing this post or not. If I'm completely honest, I don't actually know how this post is going to turn out. I've no idea what I want to say, or how I want to say it, but my head needs clearing out and the way I do that is to write. Writing is, for me, a creative outlet, but also a therapeutic tool; so I suppose it stands to reason that I would feel the need to write at this time.
As a general rule, my posts are always very clear in my head. I know what it is I want to say and I have a very good idea of the shape it will take. So right now, I feel like a fish out of water and I'm just trusting my fingers to hit the right keys and produce something that is vaguely readable and well, hopefully won't be a load of mumbo jumbo.
The last seven days have been crazy. We've had a birthday, complete with not one, but two sleepovers, plus a shopping trip, a shed load of visitors and enough emotions to sink a ship. Except it wasn't a ship which sunk, it was the little boat that was mine and Dr. BD's relationship.
I'm not sharing with you, why our little rowing boat sunk, but I will say, I have no bad words to say about us, or him. I am genuinely saddened and if our circumstances were different perhaps we could have bailed that water out. Perhaps we would have noticed when first our boat sprung a leak, and dealt with it there and then, but hindsight is a wonderful thing and life tends to get in the way. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. Who knows?
I know that for me it was the right decision, a really tough one and one I wasn't quite ready to make, but still the right one. I hope that it is for him too because he is fabulous, kind and thoughtful.
I suppose what I really want to say, is thank you. Thank you for bringing me so much laughter over the last couple of years. Thank you for putting up with this crazy, free spirited nutcase. Thank you for being a chapter in my life story.
Oh lovely, huge lots of love and hugs coming at you, everything does happen for a reason, I've always believed this even if it doesn't make sense at the time, love you xx
ReplyDeleteLove you too Mandy. You are a fabulous friend. It's the right decision and I feel at peace with it, if that makes sense xx
DeleteSending love and hugs....
ReplyDeleteAw, many thanks x
DeleteIt's a difficult time but tomorrow will be a better day. Been there.
ReplyDeleteHi Carol. Yes you're absolutely right. I think knowing it's the right thing makes it a whole lot easier and less traumatic. It's still sad, but not traumatic. It also helps that it's a lovely sunny warm day :-)
DeleteIt's so tough making a decision like this and my heart goes out to you. When you know it's the right thing to do it does help in a sense but it is still sad. I hope that your heart heals and the sadness lifts soon. Sending many hugs your way. xx
ReplyDeleteThanks Anne. I'll bounce back x
DeleteWow, what sad post. I came over to thank you for stopping by my blog. It seems like you need a hug. Sending virtual ones x
ReplyDeleteOh bless you. It is sad, but it's really ok x
DeleteOh honey, I'm so sorry to hear this. It's such a hard step to take. Sending love and hugs x
ReplyDeleteThank you Hannah. It was very therapeutic to be able to write about it, otherwise it may have been more difficult to cope with x
DeleteSo sorry to hear this Lisa, breaking up is never easy. It's lovely that you still wish him well and remain amicable.
ReplyDeleteKeep your chin up lovely, sending big virtual hugs your way xx
Thank you Jayne. He is a super chap, but we really weren't right for one another. I think as friends we were brilliant, but on a deeper level we were poles apart. I think we are both much happier and more relaxed now x
DeleteThinking of you and lots of luck for the next chapter of your life!
ReplyDelete