A New Path

What can I say? Life is good, right now. Not that it wasn't before, you understand, but right now it's particularly good and I am loving the new path I'm on. More's the point, I couldn't have asked for a better person to travel this new path with. I'd never intended to meet and start dating someone quite so soon, but sometimes, just sometimes things happen for a reason and meeting D has had a huge impact on me.


Now, before I get too gushy and soppy (which I probably will, so please feel free to fetch a bucket in case you need to throw up), let me start by saying that if you looked at us on paper, or come to that, if you put us in a room full of other people, never in a million years would you put us together. On the face of it, we don't work, we shouldn't work. I'm quiet (most of the time), he's loud; I'm quite self conscious, he's full of confidence; I'm about as short as you can possibly get and he's tall (I mean really, he should be tripping over me - how he doesn't is a mystery). Somehow though, it's all clicked into place and we seem to compliment one another. It also helps that we're both slightly crazy.

This man is like a breath of fresh air, he makes me laugh, but he makes me feel special; he looks after me, but then does something crazy like soaking me in a fountain at Chessington (how naive was I?) and he doesn't mind kissing me in public (it's like being a teenager again). However, there is something which even in the short space of time we've known each other, this wonderful man has done that no one else has quite managed to do. He's given me back confidence in me and how I look.

Now I realise that may sound a little silly. I'm not exactly overweight and I don't look quite as old as I am, but when I look in a full length mirror, though not repulsed by what I see, I know that my body isn't what it was. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change my post baby body for anything, the stretch marks and soft little belly are a source of pride to me. I'm still amazed that I grew two little people in there; although given my complete inability to keep a houseplant alive, I am more amazed that I've managed to raise two children successfully - seriously how can I raise a child, but kill a plant? Anyway, I digress. The point is whilst I don't dislike my body, I have been really careful about how I clothe it, so when D took me shopping for a dress I will be honest with you, I was absolutely terrified. Which he wasn't aware of, until now, obviously, but I was. You see, I've spent years carefully disguising some of the curves I now have and dress shopping was going to force me to not hide them. Suffice to say, I was just a little bit uncomfortable, again he's only just finding this out.

What I really love about D is his enthusiasm, it's infectious, you cannot say no, not because you feel you have to say yes, but because you don't want to miss out on the adventure, so when I saw a pretty dress, even though I was super scared about trying it on (because no way was it going to look great on a vertically challenged, oompah loompah mummy), when he told me to try it,  I just caught up in the excitement. It wasn't just me either, because whilst I am trying the dress on, D's outside helping another lady choose a pair of shoes.  Anyway, dress on, I dare to look in the mirror and am shocked by what I see because that really cannot be my reflection. Seriously, I look half decent! I have curves, but they are in all the right places and suddenly I have no idea, why I have been trying to hide them. When I step out of the changing room to show D, and his new friend, 'shoe lady' (who happened to be a very nice lady) I get a positive response too.

And that was that, the rest of the day, I was more than happy, with my new found confidence to try stuff on. I wasn't even bothered standing in my undies in a changing room being helped into a dress by a young, twenty something girl (I am capable of dressing myself, I hasten to add, but the security tag was causing a tangle with the underskirt thingy, and even the assistant was a little confused - at least that is my excuse). And the almost impossible to get into dress? Well that's the one I got and it's beautiful. I am such a lucky girl.

But, (yes I know, we've had this conversation before; one should never start a sentence with 'but', but it's my blog, so there!) what made all of this more amazing, was that it was D's birthday and yet he spent the day making me feel special. Don't worry, he was treated too, but opened his presents the day before, the big kid in him couldn't wait until the day. So, lovely readers, please excuse me if the blog gets a little gushy, keep a bucket nearby and bear with me, I've found an amazing new man and I really am just a little teensy weensy bit smitten, which, may I add is a rather fabulous way to be.