Don't Panic - OK Panic

Hopefully, you can see the 'don't panic' written on that mug. That is how my morning was supposed to be. I was supposed to get up, do the housework, get Miss. L to school then come home, walk the dog and relax a bit before hitting the supermarket (apparently you have to have food in the house in order to cook). So that was the plan, unfortunately, I had omitted to send the memo to Monday and this is how it actually went.

Got up, stripped bed, sorted the washing into piles, showered and made myself presentable. That all went super well. I was on form I was even hopeful I'd get the dog walked before the school run. That was until I stepped out of the bedroom to be greeted by both the cat and dog and three piles of sick on my living room carpet. I will admit to swearing at the pair of them. I'm still not sure which one it was so they both got it and just to make sure, I made them wait for their breakfast whilst I cleaned up after them, loaded the washing machine and sorted the packed lunches. Those little furries will think twice before throwing up on my carpet again...well probably not, but it made me feel a little better.

Pretty soon I was all caught up and had decided to take the dog on the school run so he could have a sniff around the village rec. He enjoys that, there's lots of different things to smell and it's just a big open field that he can run around like the total loon he is. Anyway, that was the revised plan.

Suffice to say, that didn't happen either because there I was (which if you've read The Final Countdown you'll already know, but bear with) carefully braiding Miss. L's ridiculously long locks into a beautiful fishtail plait, (and it was beautiful) but that all went pear shaped when Miss. L slowly started pitching forward. If you read the other post, you'll know I was mother of the year and shouted at her to stand up straight as I was holding her hair and it was going to end up pulling, but she just kept going, which is when I realised she couldn't hear me. Thankfully, I was holding her hair so she didn't go head first into the kitchen chairs and I managed to grab her and pull her back on the floor before she fell (I didn't manage to stop her hitting her head on the table though...oops). Given she had totally passed out (complete with eyes rolling back into head) I decided a day off school might be a wise idea. She came round super quick, but she was totally drained of colour, shaky and very clammy, so we got her some water and I left her resting for a good half hour or so before letting her attempt the stairs.

It was when we were going up to her room accompanied by our little Max, that we met our would be attacker. Max reached the top of the stairs before us and was sniffing at something. It was not the largest, but it was a sizable moth. Now, anyone who knows myself and the girls, will know we are all terrified of moths. Thankfully Max wasn't and I had every confidence that he was going to rescue us...he didn't and it just flapped around us a lot, causing both of us to scream a lot, and well, we looked a bit like this...

Once the hideous thing had finished flapping about I pounced on it with a tissue; I'm so hardcore. My intention being that I would run into the bathroom and flush it down the toilet, but the Mr. Moth had other ideas.

He wrestled me to the ground (he's big, remember) and made his getaway, but not before flapping around our heads and deliberately dive bombing us. He was clearly, a little miffed at my attempt to dispose of him (to be fair, I get that) and from the look on his face it was more than obvious, that so far as he's concerned, my days are numbered.

I'm not sure where he is now, I've had a look around, but he's gone to ground. I'm pretty sure he's nearby. I feel like I'm being watched. He's studying me, finding my weaknesses and formulating a plan to exact his revenge upon me. I told D. I rather get the feeling he thinks I'm over dramatising the whole thing. Moi? Mais Non! Never! Anyway, D told me I should probably lock the knives away, so I have, you can't be too careful when you have a vengeful moth in your home. They become quite predatory, I believe. I'm thinking of removing all the light bulbs too, I mean if I don't turn the lights on, he can't catch me can he? The other option is to pack during the day, then leave the county under the cover of darkness, I'm considering changing our identities as well, I'm not sure if moths have gangs and contacts and all of that underground stuff.

Anyway, wish me luck and if I don't post again, you'll know the moth won!