Why He's Not My Best Friend

I am a huge lover of trashy TV. Programmes that don't really require me to concentrate on them. For the most part I am blogging whilst watching TV, so as a general rule, I have no idea what is going on. One of my favourite shows to 'not watch' whilst blogging is 'Say Yes to the Dress'. What I wouldn't give to work in a wedding dress shop, surrounded by tulle, lace and silk which has been lovingly crafted into ballgowns, mermaids and fit and flares. Yes, minus the bridezillas, that would be my ideal job. Anyway, back to the point. It was whilst 'not watching' that my ears pricked up on hearing a bride use that age old phrase when talking about her hubby to be, 'he's my best friend,' sigh. Well ladies, let me tell you now, D is not and will never be my best friend.

Shock. Horror. Poor D, this must be a terrible revelation for him, reading on the blog that he is not my best friend and is never going to be. Calm down all, he knows. We've spoken about it a few times now and we're both in agreement as to why we will never be best friends. We don't want to be best friends. D has a best friend, they've been friends since childhood. They have done things together and ridden storms together, which have well and truly cemented their friendship and I have no intention of coming between that or trying to take that role over. D doesn't need another best friend.

That doesn't take anything away from the relationship we, as a couple have. It's early days, but we are very happy together. We talk about doing things months from now, which has to be a good thing, and dare I say it, I am finally getting more adventurous. Yes folks, having survived whitewater rafting, I am dying to try paddle boarding and kayaking. Of course, D is to a certain degree, a friend, but there is a difference between being a best friend and being in a loving relationship. How many of your friends put their arm around you and kiss the top of your head?

Your best friend is the person, you tell everything to. They are your confidant. That's not to say I wouldn't discuss most things with D and vice versa, but sometimes you need that third party to chat with, laugh with, mess about with and just enjoy being around, no strings attached. Your best friend is the person who will carry you when you are down and tell you when you're being a bit of an idiot without it offending you or causing a blazing row. Let's face it boys, if you're doing a crap job of the DIY and your missus tells you so, you're likely going to end up in an argument, but if your best mate tells you the exact same thing...well I rest my case. And for the record, it works the other way round too, there are things our girlfriends can tell us and get away with, that our husbands would never get away with. It's true!

The relationship between yourself and your partner obviously embraces friendship, you have to like one another, understand one another and want to be around one another. If the conversation doesn't flow, you're not remotely interested in how their day has been or what they've done, and you resent time they spend outside of the relationship (or worse still, you wish they'd bugger off out of the house a little more often), well it's not really going to go very far. However, it's also companionship, having someone you care about, and whom in turn cares about you and commitment to that person, and well, obviously you do need to find your other half physically attractive too. I'll be honest with you (sorry mum - she sometimes reads the blog), but there are things I want to do with D that I certainly do not want to do with any of my friends. No offence intended girls, but I do not want to spend the evening holding hands and kissing you. You're all very pretty, but I simply don't fancy you.

Finally, the other reason I don't want my partner to be my best friend. Suppose that your partner is indeed your best friend and the relationship breaks down, which as we all know, does happen, not only have you lost the love of your life, but you've lost your best friend, your confidant and that is doubly sad. So for me, I'm more than happy to say, D is not my best friend and never will be; he will, however, be a very, very special friend, but not my best friend and that works for both of us. It may not be the same for you, we're all different, and you may be happy to be best friends with your other half. This is just how we, as a couple feel about it, but when it comes to relationships they are all unique and that's the beauty of being human, no two people are the same and no two relationships are the same.