My Week on Beta Blockers

Last week, the stress was just too much and my poor resting heart rate was going absolutely nuts; not quite so nuts as it did after having Miss. L, but nuts enough to frighten the living daylights out of me. No one wants a racing heart when the most exertion they've had is drinking a cup of tea.

I'm not a big fan of visiting the Doctor's surgery and, truth be told, I would rather take a chance than willingly go and get checked out, but given it was my heart rate that was causing concern, I relented and got an emergency appointment. Sadly, it was with the duty doctor who doesn't have the benefit of knowing me, but she was very nice and listened.

We came to the mutual conclusion (well, I told her) that it was most likely anxiety and she prescribed me a course of beta blockers (propranolol) which I was to take twice a day for two weeks and given my age a referral for an ECG. I left feeling a little reassured that I wasn't completely nuts, well no more than usual, and just a little bit concerned about the medication. The very word, beta blockers, is quite frankly, a little scary to me.

Anyway, fears aside, I popped to the chemist, got the prescription made up, brought it home and dutifully followed the doctor's orders, as you do.

Voila! Awesome stuff, my heart rate was back to normal in no time. The following morning it was a little high, but slowed down after the next dose. However, I felt really breathless and really quite dizzy, to the point of almost fainting. At this point my reservations about the medication returned. I'm not a fan of fainting, I did enough of that in my teens, it wasn't pleasant then and as an adult it's even worse. Anyway, I kind of skipped them for a day and did a little research.

Google is such a good friend isn't it? I checked online and read lots of stories from normal people just like me who had been taking Propranolol for anxiety successfully and decided to persist. Oh how I wish I hadn't!

The issue for me is the long list of side effects. I already take a low dose of anti-depressants and generally manage very well, but the beta blockers can also cause depression and anxiety. If the GP I'd seen had explained this, I would have declined the darn things in the first place, however, she didn't and I have spent days on a roller coaster of extreme emotions. Now I realise that I am on an emotional roller coaster ride anyway, but the severity of the extremes has been terrifying. Thankfully, I have the amazing Martyn, who was at the end of the phone to tell me I was being a 'd^&k' and not to do anything stupid. I also experienced more anxiety, having to ask another friend over to walk the dog with me because suddenly the outside world was a terrifying place, plus I was so breathless, I wasn't sure I wouldn't just collapse in a heap.

In short, beta blockers are not a friend of mine. Thankfully, I managed to get along to see my own GP and she has taken me straight off them. I don't blame the other doctor, she did what she thought was best and for many people they do work, they're just not for me. I'm sure I'll be up and down emotionally for a while, I wouldn't be human if I weren't, but I have some super close friends who are looking out for me (thank you boys) and I have the best therapeutic tool in the world, my blog.

Bear with me for a bit, normal service will resume, maybe not this week, but soon.

#ablogginggoodtime