Hippo Tours - The Story

Somewhere, in a deep dark forest, in the county of Kent, is a very special place indeed. It’s a place like no other. A place where you can do something you cannot do anywhere else in the whole wide world. I have no idea how such a place came to be located in Kent, which is more famously known for its orchards and hop gardens, but that’s where this strange and wonderful secret attraction is.

It is a very secret place indeed. Only very special people get an invitation, and if you tell anyone you have such a thing, it instantly becomes void. It’s all terribly top secret and with good reason. If anyone were to find out where the forest is and what is located there, well there would be all sorts of repercussions, I can tell you. Before I tell you any more of this closely guarded secret, let me explain a little about how it came to be.

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There were once two friends, Tom and Becca. They had been friends for a long, long time and had something of a reputation for getting up to mischief. No matter where they were, what they were doing, or whom they were with, this pair of friends were, at some point bound to cause some sort of trouble.

They didn’t mean to be disruptive, it’s just that both their imaginations were, for want of a better word, somewhat overactive; the result of which, when combined, were the most ridiculously far fetched ideas and stories you’ve ever heard in your life. This left our pair of friends in a heap of giggles, whilst everyone else was left somewhat irritated, bemused or both.

It was during one of these really, very silly conversations, that things really did take a bit of a turn, possibly for the best, possibly for the worst. I think, perhaps, that you should make your own mind up, as this story unfolds.

It was something of a boring day; outside it was grey and drizzly and inside wasn’t an awful lot better. Looking around the room, Becca could clearly see her companions had carried the misery of outdoors, indoors with them. On the floor, lay an abundance of used umbrellas, each one now surrounded by its own personal little puddle. Getting out of this room without slipping over was going to be a challenge. Becca wasn’t known for her balance and poise at the best of times, but add a potential hazard into the mix and it was almost certain that an accident was on the cards. Needless to say, as soon as she got up to go to lunch she slipped and went head first over Tom’s desk before landing in a heap at the boss’s feet. It didn’t go down to well. She’d broken her fall with her forehead which meant the boss had to send her, with a colleague, to the local A&E before having to clean Becca’s blood off the floor.  Becca strongly suspected it might be time to start looking for a new job.

Tom, had of course drawn the short straw and, for the second time this month was sat in A&E with Becca. ‘You’re an idiot!’ he told her for the umpteenth time.

‘And you’re only friends with me because I get you out of work all the time, so don’t complain,‘ she retorted, before moaning, ‘My head hurts!’

‘You don’t say?’

‘I do say!’ then her face scrunched up and she started sobbing, ‘Oh Tom, I’ve really done it this time. Why am I so clumsy? She’s going to sack me, if she doesn’t kill me first. I’m pretty sure I spilt blood on her Gucci handbag!’

‘She can’t sack you for being an idiot, that’s discrimination,’ this was Tom in reassuring mode.

‘I think I need to look for a safer job,’ Becca said matter of factly, ‘like shark diving, or lion taming, or hippo wrangling.’

‘Hippo wrangling? Do you know what? That just might not be so crazy as it sounds, I mean you couldn’t end up in many more scrapes than you do in an office.’

And so, that is what they did. They both took courses in Hippo Psychology and became experts in the field of Hippo Wrangling. There is a certain knack to wrangling a hippo, and there were a fair few near misses along the way. Have you ever tried to lasso a hippo? I’ll bet you haven’t. It is not an easy task because hippos are very strong and very grumpy creatures indeed. They do not take kindly to being lassoed. Which is why Tom and Becca also became pioneers in the art of Hippo Whispering. You do have to whisper fairly loudly, they only have tiny little ears and when they’re in a particularly foul mood their ability to listen is severely impaired, but somehow, our two heroes managed to wrangle and tame enough hippos to bring back to Blighty.

Once safely back home, the hippos were secretly transported (by kind permission of Her Majesty) to the forest in which they now reside. It took quite some time for them to get used to their new home and a lot of work to get them to chill out; including a whole team of people to give them their daily massages, but eventually they settled, and Tom was able to achieve his main goal of getting a saddle on a hippo. No one believed it would ever be possible to get a saddle on a hippo, let alone be able to ride one, but Tom would not take no for an answer, (even after two stays in hospital, having been attacked by a very upset hippo - and you try explaining away a hippo attack, 'he fell down the stairs' wasn't going to cut it). No, he just persisted with his dream of launching Hippo Tours.

***

Today, if you are one of the very lucky ones, you might get an invitation to visit Hippo Tours. If you’re one of the lucky ones, you can ride your very own hippo through the beautiful forest in which they reside, then help to feed and bathe them afterwards. If you like, you may stay a while after and watch the hippos have their daily facial, full body massage and pedicure. Just remember, it’s all top secret!


This is an original work and as such, is owned by, and included in the brand 'Little Orange Dog'