My Revenge

Hello, it's me, Max. Did you forget me? I been away a long time. I tried really hard to get to Mummy's laptop thingy, but her was on it ALL the time doing something called 'work.' It not good enough, little orange me needs to talk to all you lovely peoples, not just the peoples I live with. Tween me and you, me get a bit bored with them sometimes, even Sparkle cat is a girl. It not easy living with girls. It also not good, girls want you to smell like a girl. Little me spends a long time getting nice and scruffy and smelly, just the way I like to be and then, they take me to the place of bubbles and brushes and lots of other nasty clean stuffs. When me leaves I look like this...

You can see, I is not a happy orange doggy. Apparently, this is my summer haircut! I not smell nice either. Me got my own back though, the day after my haircut, me managed to get a knot in my ear. Mummy wasn't impressed, but I was very happy. Me hasn't stopped there. Oh no. Me been making sure to make the most of my doggy walks.

Me love a good sniff on my walks. I a spaniel, though Mummy says I'm not a proper spaniel, I a lap dog (I very good at being a lap dog too). We spaniels love a good sniff and to get back at mum for my haircut, I been doing loads of sniffing. More sniffing than usual.

I do like to walk around in circles a lot too, in between sniffs and hide from Mumma in the trees. That funny, she gets quite angry about ducks when I not where she can see me, or if I sniffing too much. I a bit worried she seeing things, as I not seen a single duck on our walks, but she keep saying, 'Where the duck are you now?' and 'Hurry the duck on!' Me think her either very unwell, or those are invisible ducks, but me would still hear them wouldn't I? I not know, I just know I like to sniff and sometimes chase a rabbit. Me never catch them though, they're really fast, them must have superpowers in those fluffy tails!

I got to go, me can hear Mumma and me not want her to know what I been doing, Stay cool everyone. Woof!